I may like you a lot but I guarantee that I like tacos more. Batman and Game of Thrones and SuperWhoLock and Love and Literature.
Pop Culture Vulture.
Another day, another story. Eh Tumblr? This one is about Rapunzel. A fair maiden locked away in a tower, hidden from ever finding true love. Sad, huh? Well not too bad. See, Rapunzel was born outside of a Denny’s. And through some fairy tale magic that reason and logic could never explain, she was given long, beautiful bacon hair. So, this prince guy was riding by her prison tower one day, when he saw Rapunzel. So he was all, “You’re hawt, why are you locked in that tower?”
“Because of this evil woman that was jealous of my face.” Rapunzel yelled down.
“Alright,” he replied, “Let down your hair and I’ll climb it, because that makes sense and won’t hurt or inconvenience you in any way.” So Rapunzel, without taking into consideration the hundreds of thousands of nerve endings and pain receptors in the human head, let down her long bacon hair so the prince could climb up. But he didn’t. Because there was too much delicious bacon to eat. And enjoying crispy bacon is much more important than relying on a relationship in order to find happiness and validate your existence. The End.
What the fuck dennys
Hot shoes and wine…
I’m a huge supporter of things which annoy misogynistic rich white men
sorry my room is such a mess i didn’t have time to clean up
THIS IS MARRIAGE!!
Permission to be a bad ass. Nod.
He looks back at the guy like, “SEE THAT? SHE SAID YES. YOU’RE SO FUCKED.”
Like, guys. Sparta was so kick ASS sometimes when it came to women. Spartan women were given these small knives so that if their husbands came home and tried to hit them or assault them, they had a weapon within reach. That weapon was for CUTTING THEIR HUSBANDS’ FUCKING FACES so that when he went out in public everyone would know he was an asshole, abusing jerkface and they would publicly shame him.
I DID NOT KNOW THAT THAT IS GREAT
LET’S JUST TALK ABOUT SPARTAN WOMEN FOR A SECOND.
In Sparta, women could own land and were considered citizens. THAT IS A HUGE BIG FUCKING DEAL. Why? Because that was RARE AS FUCK and there are lots of places TODAY where women don’t even get that much.
Divorce was totally fine, and a woman could expect to keep her own wealth and get custody of the kids because paternal lineage wasn’t very important. And it didn’t make her a pariah! She could totally remarry, no big deal at all.
Spartan women participated in some fuckin’ badass sporting events, too. And because they were expected to be as physically fit as the Spartan menfolk (who all had to serve compulsory military duties, btw, and couldn’t marry until they finished them at thirty) they didn’t have time for lots of swishy dresses. So they wore notoriously short skirts. According to some accounts, their thighs were visible at all times. HOLY SHIT.
Also, In Sparta men only got their names on their graves if they died in battle. And women? Women only got their names on their graves if they died in childbirth. THE SPARTANS COMPARED CHILDBIRTH TO FUCKING BATTLE AND IT WAS VIEWED AS A GODDAMN BADASS AND HONORABLE WAY TO GO OUT.
FUCKING SPARTAN WOMEN. THIS DUDE HAD FUCKIN’ BETTER MAKE SURE SHE’S COOL WITH WHATEVER HE’S DOING, IF HE KNOWS WHAT’S FUCKIN’ GOOD FOR HIM.
my favorite topping