You’re a total twat

I love you.
I want to spent the rest of my life loving you.
But dear god, you are a cock-head.
You are a total twat.

thatfilmdudekalen:

If you love someone, set them free. If they don’t come back, text them when you’re drunk.

airnuttedsohard:

Who waves to a selfie Angelia Jolie

lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

lovequotesrus:

Everything you love is here

alfrikskinks:

subnancy:

This clever rope-cuff allows her to grasp the rope when she struggles so it doesn’t injure her wrists.

kinkysuzy

Look what I found again!

zftw:

genderthief:

i gave my dog a tortilla chip ten minutes ago and she won’t fucking eat it she’s just staring at me with it in her mouth 

she’s waiting for the salsa

zftw:

genderthief:

i gave my dog a tortilla chip ten minutes ago and she won’t fucking eat it she’s just staring at me with it in her mouth 

she’s waiting for the salsa

spork:

Bad credit? No credit? First time buyer? First time baby? No legs? 8 legs? You a spider? Are you a Spider trying to buy a house?

troyesivan:

permanent to do list

bustafooligan:

plot twist: cody hits the golden button, which releases tim brecht and his lawyer into the house so we can watch his and christine’s divorce be finalized live on tv